Stefan’s Diaries: Origins Chapter 1

The day my life changed started break through like any other. It was a hot August afterwardsnoon in 1864, the weather so oppressive that level(p) the flies stopped swarming around the barn. The servants children, who usually played trigger-happy games and shrieked as they ran from one chore to another, were silent. The air was still, as if retentivity off on a long-awaited thunderstorm. Id planned to spend a some hours riding my horse, Mezzanotte, into the cool forest on the edge of Veritas Estatemy family home. Id packed my satchel with a book and was intent on alone escaping.That was what Id been doing just ab come forward days that summer. I was seventeen and restless, ready neither to join the war on base my brother nor to have Father teach me to run the estate. Every afternoon, I had the same hope that several hours of solitude would help me figure out who I was and what I wanted to become. My time at the Boys Academy had end last spring, and Father had made me hold off on enrolling at the Univer sity of Virginia until the war had ended. Since then, Id been curiously stuck in the in-between. I was no longer a male child, not quite a man, and utterly unsure of what to do with myself.The cudgel part was that I had no one to talk to. Damon, my brother, was with General Grooms the States d knowledge in Atlanta, most of my boyhood friends were either intimately to be betroth or on faraway battlefields themselves, and Father was constantly in his study.Gonna be a hot one our overseer, Robert, yelled from the edge of the barn, where he was watching two fixed boys attempt to bridle one of the horses Father had purchased at auction last week.Yep, I grunted. That was another problem While I yearned for someone to talk with, when presented with a conversation partner, I was never content. What I desperately wanted was to meet someone who could understand me, who could discuss realistic things like books and life, not just the weather. Robert was n ice enough and one of Fathers most trusted advisers, but he was so loud and brash that even a ten-minute conversation could leave me exhausted.Heard the latest? Robert asked, abandoning the horse to base on balls toward me. I groaned inwardly.I move my head. Havent been reading the papers. Whats General Groom doing like a shot? I asked, even though conversation about the war eternally left me uneasy.Robert shielded his eyeball from the sun as he shook his head. No, not the war. The animal attacks. The folks over at Griffins lost fivesome chickens. All with gashes in their necks.I paused mid-step, the hairs on the tush of my neck move on end. All summer, reports of strange animal attacks had emerged from neighboring plantations. Usually, the animals were small, mostly chickens or geese, but in the past few weeks someone belike Robert, after four or five tumblers of whiskeyhad begun a rumor that the attacks were the survey of demons. I didnt believe that, but it was one more r eminder that the terra firma wasnt the same one Id grown up in. Everything was changing, whether I wanted it to or not.Could have been a stray dog that killed them, I told Robert with an impatient reel of my hand, parroting the words Id overheard Father say to Robert last week. A breeze picked up, cause the horses to stomp their feet nervously.Well, then, I hope one of those stray dogs doesnt find you when youre out riding alone like you do every day. With that, Robert strode off toward the pasture.I walked into the cool, dark stable. The steady rhythm of the breathing and snorting of the horses relaxed me instantly. I pick off Mezzanottes brush from the wall and began combing through her smooth, coal-black coat. She whinnied in appreciation. erect then, the stable door creaked open, and Father stepped in. A tall man, Father carried himself with so much force and presence that he easily intimidated those who cross his path. His face was lined with wrinkles that only added to hi s authority, and he wore a formal break of the day coat, despite the heat.Stefan? Father called, glancing around the stalls. Even though hed lived at Veritas for years, hed probably only been in the stable a few times, preferring to have his horses active and brought straight to the door.I ducked out of Mezzanottes stall.Father picked his way toward the back of the stable. His eyes flicked over me, and I felt suddenly embarrassed for him to see me caked in sweat and dirt. We have stable boys for a reason, son.I know, I said, spirit as though Id disappointed him.Theres a time and a taper for having fun with horses. But then theres the point when its time for a boy to stop playing and become a man. Father hit Mezzanotte on the flanks, hard. She snorted and took a step back.I clenched my chide, waiting for him to tell me about how, when he was my develop, hed moved to Virginia from Italy with only the clothes on his back. How hed fought and bargained to build a tiny, one-acre plo t of land into what was now the two hundred acres of Veritas Estate. How hed named it that because veritas was Latin for truth, because hed intimate that as long as a man because hed learned that as long as a man searched for truth and fought deception, he didnt need anything else in life.Father leaned against the door of the stall. Rosalyn Cartwright just celebrated her ordinal birthday. Shes looking for a husband.Rosalyn Cartwright? I repeated. When we were twelve, Rosalyn had gone to a finishing cultivate outside of Richmond, and I hadnt seen her in ages. She was a nondescript girl with mousey blond hair and brown eyes in every remembering I held of her, she wore a brown dress. Shed never been sunny and laughing, like clementine tree Haverford, or flirty and feisty, like Amelia Hawke, or whip-smart and mischievous, like Sarah Brennan. She was simply a rear in the background, content to trail along on all our childishness adventures but never to lead them.Y Rosalyn Cartwri ght. Father gave me onees. of his out of date smiles, with the corners of his lips turned so slightly upward, one would think he was lordly if one did not know him well. Her father and I have been talking, and it seems the idealistic union. Shes always been quite fond of you, Stefan.I dont know if Rosalyn Cartwright and I be a match, I mumbled, feeling as though the cool walls of the stable were closing in on me. Of course Father and Mr. Cartwright had been talking. Mr. Cartwright owned the camber in town if Father had an alliance with him, it would be easy to pad Veritas even further. And if theyd been talking, it was as good as done that Rosalyn and I were to be man and wife.Of course you dont know, boy Father guffawed, slapping me on the back. He was in remarkably good spirits. My spirits, however, were sinking lower and lower with each word. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping this was all a bad dream. No boy your age knows whats good for him. Thats why you need to trust me. I m arranging a dinner for next week to celebrate the two of you. In the meantime, pay her a call. Get to know her. Compliment her. Let her fall in have it off with you. Father finished, taking my hand and pressing a box at heart my palm.What about me? What if I dont want her to fall in love with me? I wanted to say. But I didnt. Instead, I shoved the box in my back pocket without glancing at its contents, then went back to attending to Mezzanotte, brushing her so hard, she snorted and stepped back in indignation.Im glad we had this talk, son, Father said. I waited for him to notice that Id nevertheless said a word, to realize that it was absurd to ask me to marry a girl I hadnt spoken to in years.Father? I said, hoping he would say something to set me free from the fate hed laid out for me. I think October would be lovely for a wedding, my father said instead, let the door bang shut behind him.I clenched my jaw in frustration. I thought back to our childhood, when Rosalyn and I w ould find ourselves pushed to sit in concert at Saturday barbecues and church socials. But the forced socialization simply hadnt worked, and as soon as we were old enough to choose our own playmates, Rosalyn and I went our separate ways. Our relationship was going to be just as it was when we were ten years youngerignoring each other while dutifully making our parents happy. Except now, I realized grimly, wed be bound together forever.